Five Minute Friday: Again

(I’m joining Lisa-Jo and her Five Minute Fridays. Rules are: for only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. Won’t you join us?)

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purplehairgirl

I sit down to write this post and I think – I’m really not feeling it today. I’ll give it some time, mediate on it, and come back to it again.

So I spend waste time browsing social media sites; hopelessly seeking inspiration instead of committing; instead of putting fingers to keys and forcing words out.

I think – “it’s ok if I just don’t participate this week” – and I let laziness creep in again.

I know that in reality I don’t want to write, because, today, writing seems hard. The stories, the words, the connection – it just doesn’t flow as smoothly as I want it to – and I think, “What If I’m doing this all wrong?”

So I procrastinate, again.

And before I know it, it’s lunch time and I find myself bumping into a girl at the mall. A stranger with purple hair – how brave she must be, to go for a look that makes her happy but also, undoubtedly draws a lot of unwanted attention. We chat for a couple of minutes – about broken phones and nothing, and I feel myself slipping into the trap of comparison, again. If only I had that kind of courage. Courage to be who I am – Courage to express who I am without caring about the worlds’ thoughts. Courage to intersect the life of a stranger and share time with them if only for a moment.

Yet, when I took up this God-sized dream, and made small steps, I promised myself that I would give it my all. That I would not let it fail again. That if it came down to something that was within my control, I would not be the weak point. I review my thoughts, and I filter them through a better lens, a happier lens. I may not be the type of person to dye my hair purple, but I still have courage. I did share time with a stranger, and I do more often than I remember. I do have courage to write on days that its hard, and not even hard as in terrible or awful or sad, but hard as in I just don’t feel like it. Courage to write when I have no deep insights to share.

Courage to be me. Here. Now.

Courage to type, to write, to create.

Again & Again.

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photo credit

13 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: Again”

  1. Jacqui says:
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    I know these feelings all too well! 🙂 I have actually let many Five Minute Friday’s slide out of sight for lack of courage. So kudos to you! I loved hearing your thoughts, and I think you shared great encouragement! Blessings to you in your writing!

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  2. ~Karrilee~ says:
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    So glad you pressed through! Sometimes it is when we ‘feel’ it the least, that the best can come out! And oh how I LOVE the purple hair! I am not that brave… but I DO have paint in purple highlights that wash right out! (Hey – it’s a start, right?)

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  3. Rebekah says:
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    Such a relatable post….can’t tell you how many times I procrastinate about things (blog posts, homework) because I’m not in the “mood”. Here’s to us all being more courageous!!

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  4. Deb H says:
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    I think writing when we don’t have any insights to share is the BEST time to write… you never know what will come out. I too wasn’t ‘feeling’ it today. Last week was my very first FMF so I didn’t want to give up on only the 2nd week… how lame. So I just started typing… and my feelings on Valentine’s Day popped out. Who knew??

    Keep posting those FMFs!

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  7. Amy Pederson says:
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    Oh I just love this post. I think we were on the same path today. I participated in #fmfparty last night, but was tired and not feeling like staying up to write. I waited until today, but still wasn’t sure what I’d write. I went to the gym and God revealed to me several situations that I really wanted to blog about. BUT…I just sat back and watched and hoped I would get enough courage to approach and ask if I could take a picture and feature them on my blog. Well, I literally missed 2 opportunities. By the 3rd, I finally mustered up enough courage to approach, but my camera was not working, so I forgot the whole thing and was refreshed later with a new and much more fun topic anyway! Blah!! Sometimes our over thinking, our over analyzing is so unnecessary. We need to just go with the flow and be ok revealing whatever it is on our hearts at that moment. P.S. I so get that feeling of wanting to be more like the woman with the purple hair…her bravery, her not worrying what others think. At all. Blessings to you, dear. 🙂

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    • Emily says:
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      I did the same exact thing! I was too tired to write Thursday night and then had so much trouble finding motivation to write on Friday – even for 5 minutes. I’m glad you found a fun topic despite your missed opportunities. And yes, that over-thinking does us all more harm than good. Thanks so much for hopping over here and leaving your comment 🙂

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