(I’m joining Lisa-Jo and her Five Minute Fridays. Rules are: for only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. Won’t you join us?)
I sit down to write this post and I think – I’m really not feeling it today. I’ll give it some time, mediate on it, and come back to it again.
spend waste time browsing social media sites; hopelessly seeking inspiration instead of committing; instead of putting fingers to keys and forcing words out.
I think – “it’s ok if I just don’t participate this week” – and I let laziness creep in again.
I know that in reality I don’t want to write, because, today, writing seems hard. The stories, the words, the connection – it just doesn’t flow as smoothly as I want it to – and I think, “What If I’m doing this all wrong?”
So I procrastinate, again.
And before I know it, it’s lunch time and I find myself bumping into a girl at the mall. A stranger with purple hair – how brave she must be, to go for a look that makes her happy but also, undoubtedly draws a lot of unwanted attention. We chat for a couple of minutes – about broken phones and nothing, and I feel myself slipping into the trap of comparison, again. If only I had that kind of courage. Courage to be who I am – Courage to express who I am without caring about the worlds’ thoughts. Courage to intersect the life of a stranger and share time with them if only for a moment.
Yet, when I took up this God-sized dream, and made small steps, I promised myself that I would give it my all. That I would not let it fail again. That if it came down to something that was within my control, I would not be the weak point. I review my thoughts, and I filter them through a better lens, a happier lens. I may not be the type of person to dye my hair purple, but I still have courage. I did share time with a stranger, and I do more often than I remember. I do have courage to write on days that its hard, and not even hard as in terrible or awful or sad, but hard as in I just don’t feel like it. Courage to write when I have no deep insights to share.
Courage to be me. Here. Now.
Courage to type, to write, to create.
Again & Again.